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VI |
Questions About Christian Living |
| 1. | What does a person do when their spouse and children do not know God? |
| 2. | If it was NOT God’s will for 2 people to marry, would it then BE God’s will for them to separate? |
| 3. | Why do so many relationships and marriages end? Can I get out of a bad marriage? |
| 4. | How do we prioritize the needs of our immediate family with the needs of our family of origin? |
| 5. | My children call me the meanest mom in the world, how can I respond to that statement? |
| 6. | My two boys fight a lot. How can I help them to express their love for each other? |
| 7. | What is the meaning of life? |
| 8. | How do I discern between God’s will for my life and my will for my life? |
| 9. | How do I deal with nasty people? |
| 10. | How can I demonstrate at work that I am a Christian? |
| 11. | If we are supposed to put our total trust in Christ, what responsibilities do we retain as individuals? |
| 12. | Why does our faith seem to wax and wane? |
| 13. | Why does spiritual growth usually come through adversity? |
| 14. | Can we take communion without being baptized? |
| 15. | Why is it so tough being a parent of a teenager? |
| 16. | Why is it so difficult to surrender control to Christ? Why do I keep taking it back? |
| 17. | My boyfriend and I want to live together but not have sex, is God okay with this? |
| 18. | Reconcile psychology and the Bible. Can the Bible heal me without a therapist? |
| 19. | Why do so many people use God’s name and/or word to fuel their hatred and contempt for others different (racially, ethnically, gender, life styles) than themselves? |
| 20. | Why did God make some people be born gay if He condemns homosexuality? |
| 21. | How do I deal with guilt? |
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VII |
Yeah, What about that? (Questions of a seemingly trivial nature that hint at a much deeper meaning) |
| 1. | Can you mail a sandwich with a food stamp? |
| 2. | Why did God let Denver beat Green Bay in the Super Bowl? |
| 3. | Do you think David Blaine is Demon Possessed? |
|
VI |
Questions About Christian Living |
|
1. |
What does a person do when their spouse and children do not know God? |
|
“And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and HE IS WILLING
TO LIVE WITH HER, she must not divorce him. {14} For the unbelieving
husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife
has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your
children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
— 1
Corinthians 7:13-15 (NIV) There is an awful lot going on in this verse that we obviously don’t have time to talk about but the operative phrase for this morning is, “He is willing to live with her.” The obvious question is, why would that even be an issue. He married her, he obviously doesn’t mind living with her. The reason it’s an issue is that even though her husband is not a believer, she is expected to live like one. That means involvement at Church, small group, serving where she can. If she works, it means tithing 10% of her income. Everything that is involved in being a Christian. Understanding that, if he is still WILLING to live with her, then her role is to be an example of a godly wife in order to impact his life and their children’s lives. This goes for husbands as well as wives. Peter says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, THEY MAY BE WON OVER WITHOUT WORDS BY THE BEHAVIOR OF THEIR WIVES, {2}when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” — 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NIV) It goes without saying, I hope, that this submissiveness does not extend to areas of immorality, danger, or other areas that are in opposition to the clear teaching of the Bible. In other words, the role of a wife or a husband in an unbelieving family is exactly the same as it would be in a believing family - to serve God and their families with excellence. |
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| Return To Questions About Christian Living | |
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2. |
If it was NOT God’s will for 2 people to marry, would it then BE God’s will for them to separate? |
| There is a big part of us that wants the underlying principle here to
be true. If I take control of the reins of my life and make a decision
contrary to God’s will, can I then later back out of the
responsibilities of that decision claiming temporary insanity? That’s
basically the question. Sometimes just rephrasing a question, answers it for us, doesn’t it? Sometimes, we make bad choices and the right thing to do is to go back and undo them. For instance, if I were to steal something from someone, the Bible tells us the right thing to do is to go back to the store, return the stolen item and repay the store owner 4 times the amount taken. "If a man steals an ox or a sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back FIVE head of cattle for the ox and FOUR sheep for the sheep. … {3} A thief must certainly MAKE RESTITUTION." — Exodus 22:1-3 (NIV) Sometimes, however, we make bad choices and the right thing to do is to accept the consequences of those choices and act responsibly. If 2 young people act irresponsibly and a young girl gets pregnant, having an abortion does not make the problem go away. It merely adds another bad choice to the one already made. The right thing to do is for both parents to accept the consequences and take responsibility for the child. That doesn’t mean they should get married. Maybe, even probably, they shouldn’t get married. But they DO need to take responsibility for making sure their child gets the best life possible. In the case of marrying the wrong person. There are very specific cases in which it may NOT be God’s will for 2 people to get married BUT once they ARE married, God’s will has been clearly communicated to us in the Bible. "I HATE DIVORCE," says the LORD God of Israel." — Malachi 2:16 (NIV) Whether it was ever God’s will for 2 people to be married, it is definitely God’s perfect will for 2 people who ARE married to stay that way. I say, God’s perfect will. I mean that all other things being equal, God would prefer 2 married people to stay together. But sometimes, our choices get situations so twisted that God’s perfect will is no longer even one of the available options. Malachi 2:16 continues, "and I HATE A MAN'S COVERING HIMSELF WITH VIOLENCE as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So GUARD YOURSELF in your spirit, and DO NOT BREAK FAITH. — Malachi 2:16 (NIV) God hates divorce and God hates violence and God hates unfaithfulness. So that, sometimes, God’s actual will becomes the lesser of 3 evils. In such situations, the determining of God’s will is a matter that requires fasting and prayer by the Elders of the Church. Anyway we look at it, the Church is an integral part of determining God’s will for our lives. Regular consistent teaching from God’s Word in the Bible, the specific moving and prompting of His Holy Spirit as He works and speaks through the Church collectively and the specific directions He gives through the Elders of His Church, all work to guide His children in the paths that He intends for them. If you are not a regular part of a faith community, life is going to be an up hill battle. We were designed by God to live in community with one another and we need one another. Not just to understand God’s will for our lives but for every aspect of our spiritual growth |
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3. |
Why do so many relationships and marriages end? Can I get out of a bad marriage? |
| The first part asks why so many relationships end. The Bible gives a
very clear answer. It is because humanity is naturally self-centered.
We place ourselves at the center of our lives. We then view everything
that happens from the perspective of how it affects me. If a person or a job or some other commitment does not provide some net positive return on my investment. I walk away from it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. God has something better planned for us. I don’t know that God has specifically planned who your life partner will be, except to say this. If you choose to marry someone, that is the person God wants you to be married with. I realize that marriage is difficult, and for the same reasons that becoming a Christian is difficult. Ephesians 5 tells us that marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. In marriage we must surrender at least a portion of our wills and our sovereignty to another human being and that is tough. Consider this, Abraham sent for a wife for his son. She came riding up on a camel, saw Isaac to whom she was to be married, covered her face with a veil and went to the Sarah’s tent to get ready for the wedding. She married Isaac that evening, having never seen him, talked to him, or discovered whether they were sexually compatible or not. And they lived happily ever after. If THAT marriage can work, we should have no problems at all! God’s plan for marriages is simple. Husband love your wife to the point of sacrificing your own life for hers. Wife submit to your husband as we should all submit to God. There is a contract for happiness that has no equal. Wives, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS as to the Lord. … {25} Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her — Ephesians 5:25, 25 (NIV) But, in order for it to work, husbands have to surrender the center position of their lives and put God there and then after God, their wives. And wives have to do the same thing. Unfortunately, we all like having the world revolve around us and making those surrenders isn’t easy. That’s why so many relationships fail. As to the second part of the question concerning whether we can get out of a bad marriage or not. Clearly we can. People do all the time. But does God sanction it? Is enough ever enough? Yes, unfortunately. It does appear in the Scriptures that God sanctions divorce but never happily. The Bible says, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your HEARTS WERE HARD. But it was not this way from the beginning.” — Matthew 19:8 (NIV) It is clear that God reluctantly acknowledges divorce but that was not His plan in the beginning. In fact, God says, “I HATE DIVORCE,” says the LORD God of Israel. — Malachi 2:16 (NIV) God acknowledges that sometimes the sinfulness of man makes divorce the best of the AVAILABLE options but God would much prefer to introduce some additional options. If this question resonates with you and your current situation, let me encourage you to seek Pastoral and family counseling and see what other options you can come up with first. God can make ANY marriage work, if we are willing to surrender control to Him. Don’t choose divorce until every other avenue has failed. God says that divorce works against the design with which we were created. It is not a good solution. Unfortunately, because of our stubborn nature, sometimes it may be the best solution. Even still, we would be wise to explore every other avenue completely first. |
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| Return To Questions About Christian Living | |
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4. |
How do we prioritize the needs of our immediate family with the needs of our family of origin? |
| Before we are married, we fall under the authority of our parents.
Even after we are what is called adults. We are to respect, honor and
provide for our parents to the best of our ability. However, when we
marry, a change occurs in the nature of our relationships. Although we
are still to respect, honor and provide for them, we no longer fall
under their authority. Our allegiance shifts to our immediate family.
In the beginning, when God set up the institution of marriage, He
said, For this reason a man will LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. — Genesis 2:24 (NIV) A man and a woman leave behind the authority of their parents and set up a new union of shared authority. So what if you haven’t done that and your current relationship is in trouble? Start today. Sit down with your husband or wife and make a new covenant. Ask for forgiveness and renew your marriage vows. The Apostle Paul said, Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND and straining toward what is ahead, {14} I PRESS ON TOWARD THE GOAL — Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) Forgive one another as you forgive yourself for God says you are now one flesh. Change the nature of your allegiances and start fresh with God’s help. |
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5. |
My children call me the meanest mom in the world, how can I respond to that statement? |
| Check out our Tape Series,
“Parental Guidance Suggested.”
I’m not sure
our children have enough data to assess whether we are the meanest
parents in the world or not. I’m pretty sure they don’t. Some children
feel we are being harsh when we tell them it’s time to go to bed no
matter what time it is. Another one thinks it isn’t fair that we make
them eat food that isn’t 95% processed sugar. The point is, we have been duped in our western culture into the thinking that our families should be democracies. That our children form the audience that will judge our success as a parent. Let me set the record straight. As parents, we serve an audience of one - God. He is the one that will pass judgment on our success of failure as a parent not our children. God says … He who SPARES THE ROD HATES HIS SON, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. — Proverbs 13:24 (NIV) And rather, TRAIN A CHILD in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. — Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) What you actually say to a child will depend of course on the child’s age and maturity level. My caution is this. It is appropriate to help your child understand these truths in the process of developing values and beliefs. Doing so to satisfy your need to feel accepted by your child is unhealthy. You need to go to your spouse or your friends to meet that need. |
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6. |
My two boys fight a lot. How can I help them to express their love for each other? |
| Check out our Tape Series,
“Parental Guidance Suggested.” There are a couple of things. Model it in the home. Children don’t learn from what we tell them, they learn from what we show them. Let them see mom and dad love each other. Let them see mom and dad love them. Honestly, I think Sylvia and I have been less than perfect in this area of our lives. All I can say is ask for forgiveness and keep trying. Second, reward in an exaggerated way even the smallest attempts at kindness. Too often the only attention our children get is negative. Unfortunately that only tends to reinforce the negative behavior. Finally, Pray. Only God can change a human heart. |
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|
7. |
What is the meaning of life? |
| According the book, the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, popular a
number of years ago now, the answer to that question is 42. The point
that Douglas Adams makes without even knowing it is that if we look
for meaning to this life IN this life we will be disappointed. King
Solomon did that and discovered, “"MEANINGLESS! MEANINGLESS!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS."” — Ecclesiastes 1:2 (NIV) We were created for Heaven. We were designed to live in Heaven. Looking for the meaning of human beings on Earth is like looking for the meaning of a piece of wood sitting on a table. To find the meaning of the wood, we have to look beyond the table to the lathe and the jointer and the finished china cabinets in the storage area. The wood does not exist for the table, nor does the table exist for the wood. They both exist for the china cabinets and ultimately for the china that the cabinets will one day contain. The table is just the place where the wood is shaped and smoothed and prepared to function effectively in the china cabinet. The true meaning of life can only be found when we look beyond Earth to Heaven and to the Spirit of God that we have been designed to contain. Our life on Earth is a preparation for our ultimate destiny as the sons and daughters of God, cooperating and co-reigning with Christ in God’s great cosmic plan. Just as the wood must yield itself to the master’s hand as he shapes it into the piece he desires. So too we, must learn, in this life, to yield ourselves to the Master’s hand as He shapes us and works us to conform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. Paul says to the Roman Church, For those God foreknew he also PREDESTINED to be CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON — Romans 8:29 (NIV) Our purpose in this life is to yield ourselves to that process. |
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8. |
How do I discern between God’s will for my life and my will for my life? |
| Basically since, God does not speak through emails, faxes or telephone
lines, how can I tell when he is speaking and how can I tell what He
is saying? John wrote in 1 John 5:14 … This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything ACCORDING TO HIS WILL, HE HEARS US. {15} And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him. — 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV) God “hears” our prayers whenever we pray in accordance with His will. How do we know if we are praying according to His will? We have to get to know Him. We have to spend time with Him in Bible study, personal worship, prayer, and Church. There is no other way. Sometimes the question becomes, how do we recognize the voice of God? For that matter, how do we recognize anyone’s voice? We become familiar with it. But since God doesn’t speak in a audible voice, we sometimes think it is a little more difficult to get familiar with it. That’s not really the case. The tone of our voice can be counterfeited. What cannot be counterfeited is the character behind that voice. We recognize people because we know them. If someone with the voice of our Calculus teacher says, “2+2=5”, we would do well to question who is really speaking because the statement made, despite the obvious familiarity of the tone, is not consistent with the character of our Calculus teacher. The same is true concerning God’s voice. It’s an issue of spiritual maturity. Once we get to know the character of God, we begin to recognize His answers over the noise of the world. We do that by spending time with Him in Bible study, personal worship, prayer, and Church. There is no other way. Jesus said … The watchman opens the gate for him, and the SHEEP LISTEN TO HIS VOICE. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. {4} When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they KNOW HIS VOICE. {5} But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice. … {14} "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and MY SHEEP KNOW ME” — John 10:3-5, 14 (NIV) How do I know the difference between His answer and the answer I hope I am going to get? Check out the Tape “Hearing God.” Tape # T211. Essentially the answer is this. God speaks to us through prayer, the Bible, circumstances and the Church. The first thing we do is determine if the sense that we get from God as we pray about a situation matches what we hear Him saying to us as we read His Word in the Bible. The underlying principle in determining God’s will for our lives is that God will NEVER contradict what He has already written in the Bible. You will never come across a situation that God wasn’t aware of when He wrote the Bible. Your situation will never be an exception to the rule. Realizing also that the God speaking to us in prayer is the same God who wrote the Bible and the same God who is working in the circumstances of our life, we check to see if the circumstances of our life are matching up to what we sense God is saying in prayer and the Bible. Be careful, because circumstances alone are NOT a good indicator of God’s will. Then we take the matter to the Church. Talk to the Pastor or your small group and see what other members of the body of Christ say about the situation. When all 4 of these areas line up, you can be relatively sure that you have discerned God’s will correctly. As I said, there is more about this on the tape. |
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|
9. |
How do I deal with nasty people? |
| Since I am stuck with them for a while, what can I do about it?
Essentially, ask yourself how Jesus would deal with the situation. He
took a stand against injustice but never demanded His own rights. The
Bible says, DO NOT REPAY EVIL WITH EVIL or INSULT WITH INSULT, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. — 1 Peter 3:9 (NIV) Primary among your life objectives is to reflect the character of God. Close in line is to be a faithful witness for Jesus Christ to the world. Way down the list a space is to make sure your feelings don’t get hurt. I’m not saying that isn’t important. I am saying keep your priorities in line. Paul said, DO NOT TAKE REVENGE, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. {20} On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD." — Romans 12:19-20 (NIV) Whoever said God didn’t have a sense of humor? Nasty people are usually hurting people. You will never yell or argue them out of their nastiness but you may love them out of it. |
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10. |
How can I demonstrate at work that I am a Christian? |
| This question is at the core of our Christian experience. God has
placed us in job roles not to make widgets or serve hamburgers. He has
placed us in those roles so the world can see what Jesus looks like
when He works. You are a lawyer so the world can see how Jesus would practice Law. You are a machine operator so the world can see what how Jesus operates a machine. You are a mother so the world can see how Jesus parents children. You are a teacher, a clerk, a secretary, a chef, a whatever, so the world can see what Jesus looks like in real life situations. Now the best way to do that is to know Christ so well, He just spills out all over your life. How do we do that? We practice the spiritual disciplines. We attend Church regularly. We join a local Church and get actively involved in the ministry. We join and participate regularly in a Small Group. We spend a quiet time every day in devotions, reading the Bible and praying, talking to God about our lives and His purposes. At Life Spring, we offer a seminar every other month called “STEP 2” in which we discover the 8 essential habits for spiritual growth. |
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| Return To Top | |
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11. |
If we are supposed to put our total trust in Christ, what responsibilities do we retain as individuals? |
| In the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, the Preacher explores the
mysteries of life and faith and comes the following conclusion. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: FEAR GOD and KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS, for THIS IS THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN. — Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NIV) It is just as true today as it was 3000 years ago when it was written. We are created by God. Like any created thing, our duty is to serve our Creator. A pen must obey the design requirements of its designer or it is not fit for anything. Likewise, our whole duty is to keep God’s commandments, not in order to gain some benefit in Heaven but just because that is what is right. |
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12. |
Why does our faith seem to wax and wane? |
| In other words, when we first become Christians, there is a lot of
excitement but as we mature, doubts and confusion creep in. Why does
that happen? The question can be better stated, Why does it happen in
ANY of our relationships? And it definitely does in ALL of them. Relationships are living things. They need to be fed or they die. They need to be exercised or they atrophy. And the food that satisfied and the exercises that worked when we were 2, no longer satisfy and no longer work when we are 10, or 25, or 65. Our diet and our exercise regimen has to mature with us or it will become unfruitful. Our spiritual diet involves reading the Bible, praying, fellowshipping with other believers. Our spiritual exercise involves obedience to God’s commands. When we are just beginning our journey, reading here and there in the Bible and praying over meals and at bedtime is good enough. 2 years later, a more consistent approach is necessary. 5 years later, we need to be teaching what we’ve learned. Our diet must mature with us. When we are just beginning our journey, obedience in the form of Sunday morning attendance and baptism and Church membership can be challenging exercises. 2 years later, we need something a little more demanding. We need to be in a small group and working on tithing. 5 years later, tithing ought to be “no sweat” and we need to be heavily involved in witnessing and discipling new believers. Our faith waxes and wanes like any other relationship we have and what that means is it is time for us to take the next step. |
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13. |
Why does spiritual growth usually come through adversity? |
| That is a true and telling testimony, not so much about God but about
the human race. The Bible describes us as, Yet they did not listen or pay attention; they were STIFF-NECKED and WOULD NOT LISTEN or respond to discipline. — Jeremiah 17:23 (NIV) C.S. Lewis said that God whispers to us in our pleasures and screams at us in our pains. Unfortunately, as a race, we are conditioned or maybe even designed to respond only to exceptions. Steady state rarely gets our attention. God has told us what we need to do to live life fully and completely. It’s relatively simple. Desire Him more than anything else in life. Read His Word with greater passion than we give to anything else. Pray continually, make God a part of every conversation and spend time together as His family at Church and in small groups. There are a few others but that is the basic list. Yet so few of us do these things with any kind of regularity and I am as guilty at times as the next guy. So God has to get our attention and He does so by taking away the things that matter to us. We call that “Taking away”, pain or adversity. That forces us to exercise muscles we don’t normally use and that also hurts. When we are done with the process, we have a new muscle and we call it spiritual growth. It doesn’t appear that we respond to anything else. |
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14. |
Can we take communion without being baptized? |
| Communion in this sense is a symbolic ceremony in which believers come
together and commemorate the last supper of our Lord Jesus Christ on
the night that He was betrayed and taken to be crucified for our sins.
The Apostle Paul writes, "For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, {24}and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.” {25}In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; DO THIS, whenever you drink it, IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.” {26}For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you PROCLAIM THE LORD’S DEATH until he comes." — 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 (NIV) No where in these instructions does it say anything about baptism. It only says that in so doing, we are proclaiming the Lord’s death. If you can stand with the Church of Jesus Christ and proclaim that Jesus died for your sins, then you are invited to the communion table. We serve communion at almost every New Community service which are held once a month. We announce them in advance. If you are a follower of Christ, then you need to be at New Community to participate in one of the 2 symbolic ceremonies of the Church, communion. The other symbolic ceremony is baptism. Jesus commanded us to be baptized. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ and you have not been baptized, then, well, you’re not following very well. It doesn’t mean you are not saved. It doesn’t mean you can’t participate in the family of God. It DOES mean, that something is wrong. Maybe you just don’t know about baptism, in which case, come to our next STEP 1 seminar and find out. |
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15. |
Why is it so tough being a parent of a teenager? |
| It has been said that parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love.
I say it’s impossible. No matter how good we are, all of us have pockets of self-centeredness. Our children seem to be able to hone in on those pockets with laser accuracy and stir them up. All of us as parents can remember moments of complete failure. And the harder we have tried to be good parents, the more painfully aware of those failures we are. It’s really just a matter of averages. As human beings, we are incapable of being perfect meaning that a certain percentage of our decisions are going to be wrong. In the Church where we may make 10 decisions a month, we can look pretty good if we have just a mediocre batting average. In the marketplace where we make a couple hundred decisions a month, we can still shine if we are half way decent. BUT, in the home where the number of life impacting decisions that we are called upon to make increases exponentially with the number and ages of our children, even the star players can strike-out a sizeable number of times. If you sometimes feel like a failure at parenting, the reason is obvious. Parenting is impossible. So the real question is “what do we do when we come up against impossible odds?” There are a few options. We can evaluate our lives and say, “You know, I really shine at work. I am going to invest my life where I can see some dividends.” Others say, “You know, those people at Church, they really think I’m the cat’s meow. When I give a lecture - we call it a Bible study, it sounds better - they really LISTEN. They think I’m smart. They value my opinion. They don’t talk back. When they see me, they say nice things to me. They appreciate me … and I need that.” Other people get even more despondent. They say, “I’m no good at work. I’m no good at Church. The Lord knows I’m no good at home. I just want to go to that place where everybody knows my name … or nobody knows my name.” So we wind up with homes led by workaholics, or Churchaholics, or alcoholics because the pain of the reality is too hard to bear. But you asked this question because in the back your minds, at the core of your being you know, there’s got to be another option. And Jesus says to you, “Take heart, What is impossible with men IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD. The truth is it is tough being a parent of children at ANY age. The nature of the difficulties evolve as our children grow but they are there all along. The difficulties actually begin in pregnancy. There the difficulties are more physiological. Then comes the first year of sleep deprivation, followed closely by the terrible twos. Years 3 and 4 mark a lot of firsts. First major colds, first scars, etc. Year 5 means the pressure of school starts and with it, chicken pox. Then there are PTA meetings and soccer practices and homework. The schedules increase until you can hardly keep it all together and finally there is relief when they get their own license but it is relief that comes at a cost. You don’t have to drive them everywhere anymore, instead you lie awake staring at the ceiling until they come home and then breathe a prayer of thanksgiving. Of course they think you are being silly because “they are the best driver of ALL of their friends.” You, however, have seen their friends drive so it brings you little comfort. But WHY the difficulty in the first place? Where does it come from? The task of being a parent is at once both simple and profound. Deuteronomy 6:5 states it like this, LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. {6}These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. {7}IMPRESS THEM ON YOUR CHILDREN. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. {8}Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. — Deuteronomy 6:5-8 (NIV) Our job as parents is to guide and coach our children to become what God created them to be. That is a very simple task. What makes it so difficult is that human will gets in the way. Maybe you haven’t noticed this in YOUR family, but from time to time, our children don’t WANT to be what God wants them to be. Have you noticed that? AND, believe it or not, sometimes, WE want our children to be what WE want them to be, regardless of what GOD wants them to be. But I want you to know that even though God states our task in very simple terms, He has no illusion of how difficult a task it really is. He is, after all, our Heavenly FATHER. He knows how difficult children can be. He says, in verse 7 that we are to “impress” His commands upon our children. It is at least interesting to me that the word translated “impress” in the original Hebrew literally means, “to chisel”. It is the word which describes the job of a stone mason. Although He states our job simply, God realizes the sweat that is involved in the implementation. This is no easy task. This is akin to chiseling marble. We, as self-centered, self-gratifying, somewhat ego-centric individuals, are to realign our wills with the Will of the Father in Heaven and then, we are to focus on our self-centered, self-gratifying, somewhat ego-centric children and re-align their wills as well. THAT is an imposing task. If marble could feel, I don’t think that being chiseled would be on the top of the list of things it liked done to it. Our children are the same way. When they were born, you taught them, if they wanted something, they just needed to cry and you would give it to them. Now you have to tell them, it doesn’t always work that way. When your child was 1 and they were displeased with you, they came up and slapped you across the knee cap. At the time you thought it was really cute. Now, at 16, you are telling them they have to find other ways to express their displeasure but they still like the old ways. One of the reasons parenting is difficult is that our children fight against becoming what they need to become. Being a child means that we do what we want and our parents deal with the responsibility. Becoming an adult means that we accept responsibility for our actions. Which is more that just saying, “It was my bad.” It means saying, “It’s my money that will pay for it. It’s my time that will fix it. It’s my aggravation that will suffer. It’s my self-sacrifice that will see that it doesn’t happen again.” That’s one of the reasons it’s so difficult, but there is another reason. In this chiseling process somebody has to hold the chisel and God says it’s you. Somebody has to strike with the hammer and God says it’s you. That doesn’t mean that you get to strike at will. It means you have to strike in such a way as to make your children into the image of God. That means you have to be responsible to know God well enough to know what that is. That’s why Deuteronomy 6:5 begins with “Parents! Love the Lord YOUR God with all YOUR heart and all YOUR strength.” It begins with you and I. THEN, impress that same love on your children. It means that there will be times when you will be singularly unpopular. If your main objective is to be your child’s best friend, you will lose. It means you become the moving force for God’s agenda in your child’s life. Framed in that way, it is easy to see why the task is so difficult. It is only easy for parents who don’t care what their children end up like. Parenting is a FULL TIME job for 20 years. Some parents make the job even more difficult by choosing to have both parents work outside the home. Now some couples just financially don’t have a choice but some do. The Bible DOES NOT say that both parents can’t work outside the home. The Bible DOES say that we have a sculpture we are working on and we only get a few years to work on it. And I will tell you from personal experience, you can’t do it in 2 hours a day. I thank God today that my parents made the choice to have my mother stay home. Most of their friends did not. I’m sure it must have been hard for them at times. But today, I thank God they made that choice. One last thing on this subject. You don’t have to do it alone. Christ is here to help and so is the Church. At the Resource Center, we have a tape series called, “Parental Guidance Suggested” that further explores some of the how to’s of parenting. Check it out. |
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16. |
Why is it so difficult to surrender control to Christ? Why do I keep taking it back? |
| The Issue of control is at the core of our sin problem. We want to be
King. We want to be king when we are teenagers and we want to be king
when we are adults. We want to be in charge. We must constantly fight
against it. The passage in Deuteronomy says, Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. {8}Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. {9}Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. — Deuteronomy 6:7-9 (NIV) Essentially, surround yourselves with the Word of God, the people of God and the things of God. Reading the Bible and praying should be the last thing you do at night and the first thing you do in the morning - when you lie down and when you get up. When you are sitting around the home, the centerpiece of the discussion should not be what is on TV tonight but what you read in the Bible today. This is hard stuff. I don’t do this faithfully. But this is the answer to the question. Remove the stuff in our lives that we don’t want by planting the stuff that we do and as parents, specifically fathers, we need to set the example in this area. |
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17. |
My boyfriend and I want to live together but not have sex, is God okay with this? |
| My first response to this is that the first question is NOT is God
okay with this, but why do you want to do this? I’m sure if we were to
actually ask this person that question, they would answer because we
want to save money, or in some other way, it is more convenient that
we do this. But the question I am really asking is why do you want to live as if you were married without actually getting married? And sooner or later, we are going to come down to the answer of commitment. Someone is going to have to say, “I am not ready to make that commitment.” At that point, God’s answer becomes, then you are not ready to live together because a boyfriend and girlfriend cannot live together simply as roommates. They have already moved beyond that emotionally and they can’t go back. But, what I really like about this question is that it is just one manifestation of an even deeper question. That question is common to all of us. Basically it is stated as this. I have rejected relativism. I believe that there are absolutes in this universe and that God is the standard by which those absolutes are judged. There are things that are clearly right and clearly wrong and God determines which are which. But what I want to know is, with absolute precision, where is the line? Because I don’t want to miss out on anything this world has to offer so I want to move as close to the line as I possibly can without actually crossing over. I want to take advantage of all the possibilities and use them to my advantage without violating my principles. To which God says, LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD with ALL your heart and with ALL your soul and with ALL your strength. — Deuteronomy 6:5 (NIV) Don’t love money so much that you would even ask the question. Don’t love people so much that you would even take the risk. Love God so much that even if you knew the precise location of the line, you would position yourself light years away from it. You see, the question is not, “How close can I get TO the line?” The question is, “How far away can I get FROM the line?” Parents, specifically fathers, take Deuteronomy 6:5-8 and make it your life goal to become the perfect living embodiment of those verses. Don’t worry about being the best father you can be. Don’t worry about being the best mother you can be. Focus on being the best living example of Deuteronomy 6:5-8 that you can be and the rest will take care of itself. Every one of us makes mistakes. Every one of us lives with regrets. The secret of success is not, never make any mistakes. The secret of success is starting right here, right now, picking up the pieces of our last mistake and moving forward with purpose and love to make a difference in our lives and in the world. Don’t give up. Don’t give in to the pressures around you to suck your energies into other less worthy pursuits. No matter where you are today in your journey with God. Maybe you don’t even know who He is yet. It doesn’t matter. It’s never too early to start. No matter where you are today, it’s never too late to begin. |
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18. |
Reconcile psychology and the Bible. Can the Bible heal me without a therapist? |
| Psychology and the Bible are not inherently at variance with one
another any more than medicine and the Bible are at variance. When a variance occurs, it is because some theologian has misinterpreted the Bible or some doctor has ignored the spiritual aspect of man. For many years the Jehovah Witnesses rejected blood transfusions because of a gross misinterpretation of the Scriptures. That doesn’t mean that the Bible is wrong. It means that man is wrong. When medical doctors use their skills and talents to perform operations that are morally wrong, that doesn’t prove that medicine is bad, it only proves once again that men are bad. Here is my take on the whole thing. If your arm is broken, or your heart valve or your kidney, or some physical part of you that is interfering with you ability to function normally, you do what the Bible says to do. You pray, you call for the Elders of the Church to come and pray over you and anoint you with oil. And then you go to the doctor. If your mind, or your heart is broken; if you are depressed or grieving or you have some compulsive behavior pattern that is interfering with your ability to function normally, you do what the Bible says to do. You pray, you call for the Elders of the Church to come and pray over you and anoint you with oil. And then you go to the doctor. Sometimes, God heals us. There are at least a hundred miracles reported in the Bible. But consider the fact that the Bible covers of period of some 1600 years. That equates to one miracle somewhere in the world every 16 years. Now, I’m sure there are a few more than that but the point is, they aren’t anything you can count on. Pray, seek God and then, go to the doctor. |
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19. |
Why do so many people use God’s name and/or word to fuel their hatred and contempt for others different (racially, ethnically, gender, life styles) than themselves? |
| Why do we do this? Basically because we are insecure. And we need
someone to validate our beliefs and our behaviors and who better to do
so than God. Does that mean that what they are saying is the way God
thinks or feels? Absolutely not. Let me share with you how God feels.
Concerning race, ethnicity and gender, this is what God says. There is neither JEW NOR GREEK, SLAVE NOR FREE, MALE NOR FEMALE, for you ARE ALL ONE in Christ Jesus. — Galatians 3:28 (NIV) There is NO GREEK OR JEW, circumcised or uncircumcised, BARBARIAN, SCYTHIAN, SLAVE OR FREE, but Christ is all, and is in all. {12} Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. — Colossians 3:11-12 (NIV) God calls us to look past all those outward differences and live together in peace and harmony. Concerning lifestyle, God wants us to treat people with the same level of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. But if we are talking about sexual preference here then God has some other things to say as well. God designed a man and a woman to lie together and make babies. That is the way we are designed. I’m not talking about morality or lifestyle choices here. I’m saying just look at the parts. It makes sense. In fact, in common usage, if we have two parts that are supposed to fit together to form some kind of a union, 90% of the time, one part is called a male part and the other is called a female part. Again, I’m not talking about morality or life style choices, I’m just talking geometry. When our kids are little, we buy them these little plastic things with all different kinds of funky shaped holes in it and a bunch of funky shaped plastic pieces and they learn to put the round plug in the round hole and the square plug in the square hole. When they try to put the wrong piece in the wrong hole, we tell them, “no honey, try this one over here,” and they eventually get it. If after a few years they still don’t know which piece to put where, we would naturally assume that something is broken somewhere and try to find out what’s going on. God says, He designed us to function in a certain way. A husband and a wife have sex together and make babies. If we are trying to put the wrong piece in the wrong hole, whether it is premarital sex, extra marital affairs, or homosexuality, God’s chief concern is that something is broken that needs to be fixed. It isn’t that we are an abomination in His sight and should be wiped off the face of the Earth. It’s that He loves us and wants what is best for us. If you are reading this and you are experiencing your sexuality outside of the context of a husband and wife relationship, I want you to know that I don’t judge you. I don’t look down on you. I don’t hate you. And neither does God. But God does want you to know that you are not experiencing sexual fulfillment to the fullest possible extent and that bums Him out. He says to you that if you have the courage to follow His instructions concerning life, sex, love and everything else, He will teach you how to experience sexual fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams. |
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20. |
Why did God make some people be born gay if He condemns homosexuality? |
| The first misunderstanding we need to correct is that God does not
MAKE anyone born with a propensity to sin. Contrary to the media
profiling of the homosexual agenda, there is absolutely NO evidence of
genetic sequencing for homosexuality. I mean ZERO. I understand that
is NOT the implication we get from the media, but it IS the truth. Despite that, I will acknowledge that all of us have propensities towards particular sins. Whether those are in fact, genetic, or sociological, or behavioral, it is CERTAIN that these propensities exist. Some people have a propensity to alcoholism, others to homosexuality, others to bestiality, others to premarital, or extra-marital heterosexuality, others to drug abuse, others to rage and violence, others to gossip and pride, others to lying and stealing. Whatever your particular propensities are, we all have them. The question becomes not whether we have them, but what are we going to DO about them? Because what God condemns is NOT our propensity to sin. Jesus Himself was tempted just like us. The Bible tells us, [Jesus] has been TEMPTED IN EVERY WAY, just as we are—YET WAS WITHOUT SIN. — Hebrews 4:15 (NIV) It is not our propensity to sin that God condemns, it is the action of sin itself. It is our surrender to the temptation rather than our surrender to the revealed will of God that is condemned. God condemns the homosexual no more and no less than He does the heterosexual who practices his sexuality in ways that God has not sanctioned. The question is not whether we experience temptation or whether that excuses us from sin. The question is whether we surrender our lives to the pursuit of self-gratification and temporal pleasures or whether we surrender our lives to the pursuit of eternal life in Jesus Christ. Jesus asked the question, What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? — Matthew 16:26 (NIV) |
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21. |
How do I deal with guilt? |
| Latest Pop Psychology tells us that feelings of guilt are instilled in
us early in life by our parents. Those feelings come out when we
encounter similar situations that prompted the behavior of our
parents. When that happens, we regress to that early childhood
development stage where the guilt first appeared and once again feel
the shame of that experience. Given that explanation, the answer is to
ignore the guilt because it does not exist in the present and is just
a shadow of our past. Process that guilt through therapy or a 12-Step
program and move past it. You know, there is some truth to that. Most of us carry around a lot of baggage from our childhood and guilt is a big one. Unfortunately it isn’t the whole truth. It’s only part of it. And the primary problem with that scenario is that is still leaves most of us feeling guilty because a large part of the time, it doesn’t deal with the real issue. While acknowledging the impact of our childhood on our current feelings, the Bible offers another explanation. The Bible tells us that many times we FEEL guilty because we ARE guilty. We feel that we haven’t measured up because, quite frankly, sometimes we don’t measure up. When that happens our feelings point out a very real problem and until the problem is resolved the feelings won’t go away. The only way to resolve REAL guilt is through forgiveness. We need to be forgiven. The way we receive forgiveness is we ASK for it. The Bible tells us we must confess our sins -to one another and to God. To confess means to agree. We must go to the people that we have offended and agree with them that we behaved inappropriately. We need to confess to one another and also to God. For you see, in our hearts we recognize that our guilt goes much deeper than just those around us. We have offended God and need to experience His forgiveness as well. Fortunately for us, the Bible talks of a God who is rich in forgiveness. It says, If we CONFESS OUR SINS, he is faithful and just and WILL FORGIVE US our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:9 (NIV) Confession helps us recognize that we are broken people, that we fall short of even our own expectations much less those of others and of God. Realizing that, breaks the hold of pride in our lives. Then experiencing the forgiveness of others and of God can go a long way towards healing and overcoming those feelings of guilt. The Psalmist wrote … For I KNOW MY WRONG, and my sin is always before me. … {7} Cleanse me, and I WILL BE CLEAN; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” — Psalm 51:3, 7 (NIV) |
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VII |
Yeah, What about that? (Questions of a seemingly trivial nature that hint at a much deeper meaning) |
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1. |
Can you mail a sandwich with a food stamp? |
| An interesting question. Surprisingly, the Bible is silent on this
subject. I did talk with my friends at the Post Office however. There are some problems with mailing a sandwich with food stamps. For starters, the post office is not allowed to exchange food stamps for postage. But mailing the sandwich itself, seemed to be the bigger issue. 2 problems with mailing a sandwich. First, standard first class postage must be less than ¼ inch thick and … Really Now! … that wouldn’t be a sandwich worth mailing in the first place. If it’s not on a fresh baked sour dough roll, I say, “Why bother!” The second problem is those guys in the Post office get hungry. They said, make sure it wasn’t egg salad because there was no way that would get out of the mail room. So I’d say you’re better off just inviting Mom over on Mother’s Day. But how about the Deeper issue? What do we do with questions on which the Bible is specifically silent? The Bible is not just a compendium of knowledge. The Bible is the self-revelation of our Creator-God to His children. It reveals not just the “what” of life, but the “who”. We read the Bible not just to know WHAT to do. We read the Bible to know WHO we are doing it for. The Bible reveals the Character, nature and ways of the One we seek to serve. Once we get to know God through His Word, His character, His purposes and His ways, will direct the course of our life and answer the million unanswered questions. Pick a good translation of the Bible (i.e. NIV, NLT) in a 365 daily reading format (I like The Daily Bible in chronological order) and start a habit of daily reading. You will get to know God. Not just things about Him, but Him personally and the knowledge will answer your every question. |
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3. |
Why did God let Denver beat Green Bay in the Super Bowl? |
| I think it has to do with God’s justice but I’m not sure. It does
bring up an interesting fact about human nature though. If Green Bay
had won, they would be parading down main street Wisconsin (yes,
there’s just one main street in Wisconsin) showing off their super
bowl rings and saying, “Yep, yep, we’re the champs. You betcha.” But instead they went out there. Played some good ball and got beat fair and square and all of a sudden, it’s God’s fault. Isn’t that interesting. When things go well, we walk around like supermen, when things go bad, we blame God. An athiest asked me one time, “Where was God when my father died?” It is a poignant question. But one that cannot be asked by an athiest. No one asks, “where was the Easter Bunny, when my father died?” Or the tooth fairy, or Santa Claus. To ask the question, reveals our true belief. |
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4. |
Do you think David Blaine is Demon Possessed? |
| David Blaine is the illusionist who stood on top of a 22” wide
platform, 10 stories above the ground in Bryant Park, New York City
for 35 hours from May 20 through the 22nd 2002. Prior to that he has
had himself buried alive for 72 hours and encased in ice for 48 hours. The term “demon possession” is an unfortunate translation of the Greek “diamonozai” in the King James version of the Bible. What’s unfortunate is that “demon possession” implies some form of ownership which is completely absent in diamonozai. The truth is, demons are actively working in this world to turn human beings away from God. Demons work almost exclusively through the agency of people. Some of those people are Christians, some are not. The question is not whether a person is demon possessed but rather to what degree that person is allowing demonic influences to turn themselves and others away from God. Asking the question of David Blaine might generate an interesting discussion but the truth is, the only person we really need to be concerned about is ourselves. The dark forces would want us to be overly interested in others but God wants us to focus on ourselves because that is the only self we can do anything about. The weapons of diamonozai are fear and deception. In what ways are we allowing fear and deception to direct and control our lives? When we know the answer to those questions, we need to surrender them over to God. We need to substitute the weapons of the enemy for the fruit of the spirit, which are. But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, 23GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law. — Galatians 5:22 (NIV) |
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Acts 22:14-16 Then he said: 'The God
of our fathers has chosen you to know his will and to see the
Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth.
15You will be his witness
to all men of what you have seen and heard.
16And now what are you
waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on
his name.' |
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 Life Spring Community Church - 5384-B Kazuko Ct - Moorpark - CA - 93021  Copyright © 2008 Life Spring Community Church |
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Christian - Living